


I Could Never Know Beforehand

by JiMoriartea



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Countdown, Crazy Jim Moriarty, Gambling with life, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Jim is being dangerous, One Shot, POV Sebastian Moran, Russian Roulette, crimson puddle on the table
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-17
Packaged: 2019-02-27 22:23:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13257834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JiMoriartea/pseuds/JiMoriartea
Summary: Jim Moriarty is in a gambling mood.Because that's what you get off on, isn't it? Gambling with your own life to fight boredom..





	I Could Never Know Beforehand

He was at it again. Revolver pointing to his right temple, fingers playing with the trigger and an amused smile on his face. His dark eyes were watching me intensly.

"Come on, Seb. It will be fun!" he sang to me boyishly, then tilted his head and changed his voice into something deeper. "It's just a game, Tiger."

I know it was just a game for him, gambling with his life. Just a way to provide his mind with something to do. A nice distraction. Not for me, though.

I glanced down at his right hand which has been lying on the table between us, supporting the weight of his body since he came here with a pistol, sat down and leaned forward. I watched his slender fingers tap on the table while still aware of his gaze. Then the fingers stopped moving and I looked up again to meet Jim's eyes.

"Shall we?" he asked me. His forefinger caressed the side of the handgun and then without another warning pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened, but that wasn't the point. What was however, was the fact, that for a second the world stopped moving before my eyes. The set of expressions that he could see on my face the moment he did it was the reason behind that all. He enjoyed watching all the emotions reflected in my fearures. The fear, the agonizing pain, the shock.. He was obsessed with watching me fall apart with every slight movement of his finger, with every non-lethal click of the handgun..

I never knew beforehead if he actually had any cartridge inside or whether he knew if it was loaded - that made it all more terrifying for me and exciting for him.

He pressed his finger against the trigger again and then laughed heartlessly at my expression. "You have to controll your emotions, Sebby.. Otherwise they're going to destroy you one day.."  
His cruel smirk softened a bit with the last words and then suddenly faded completely. My face must have yet again bertrayed me and uncovered the truth lying behind my everyday facade. The truth that my emotions were already pretty much tearing me apart every single moment from the day I met him.

The expression that took the place of his smirk was completely illegible yet so intense that I didn't know how to respond to it. He would occasionaly look at me like this, but he's never given me a chance to understand what it meant. He didn't say anything even now. Instead, he smiled faintly at me and pulled the trigger again.

A brawling noise cut into my ears and brain and I felt tiny fluid droplets cover my face. My head was spinning while I slowly comprehended the scene that uncovered before me.

Jim Moriarty lied there on the table, motionless. His head was tilted to a side, resting on his right elbow, his empty gaze still fixed on me. There was a black mark on his left temple from which all the fluid came. His left hand was due to recoil stretched to the other side of the table, holding the revolver loosely. I didn't quite understand what have I just witnessed, my world yet again stopped. 

And while I was processing what happened, Jim's blood doused his hair, made a small crimson pool on the table and began slowly dripping down on my trousers and hands chained in handcuffs

 

 

..I could never know beforehand if he actually had it loaded..

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to mention what inspired me originally: one of the items on Sherlock's Not Fine list from The Paradox Series (New Days To Throw Your Chains Away) by wordstrings and one random wattpad request.
> 
> This is my first English fanfic, so please be gentle.  
> Okay, you needn't be gentle xD Just tell me how do you feel about it. Any comment will be appreciated ;)
> 
> I am thinking about editing it sometime in the future. Adding some retrospective maybe? Or more descriptions, no idea. What do you think?


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